this time last year i was sucked back in to the world of harry potter like the first time i read them years ago.
my last mission companion introduced me to the series and i mistakenly thought the story was a little beneath me. back at byu my persistent cousin handed me the first two books and sent me on my way. i quickly returned for the third and forth and so it went.
my re-reading came at a vital time when i needed a distraction. i was sick night and day. after each book i’d watch the corresponding movie. in a way harry potter’s fictional world helped keep me going. although, i could have done without hogwart’s great hall with its magically appearing feasts described in great detail. all the food consumption was a little hard to stomach when you are not able to stomach much more than gatorade and toast.
the previous two junes i have been pregnant. i try not to dwell on it, but this june, i am. it is something that is always there, in the back of my mind.
it’s probably time for another distraction. or maybe i just need to curse harry.
last summer, after i finished all the books and all the movies, and after we lost another heartbeat, we went to see the final installment. with rachel’s purse bulging with contraband movie treats and one extremely large fountain coke we settled in. after the movie rachel and i agreed upon a new kind of exasperated slogan. shaking our fist at the sky and in our best worst british accent we cried, ‘arry potter! maybe you had to be there.
as another empty july approaches i am anxious. so for what it’s worth, this is me, shaking my fist at july and declaring ‘arry potter!
cupcakes.
Ok, before I leave my “actual” comment, I need you to clarify some verbage. “this june, i am.” This june you are dwelling on the fact that the last two junes you have been pregnant? or i am dot dot dot? Please clarify or not, if you’d rather not.
Just dwelling. Not pregnant.
Did you ever see the Seinfeld where Goerge’s dad yells “Serenity now!!!” at the top of his lungs everytime he is stressed? I think “Arry Potter” is also appropriate. Rail all you need to, my friend.
I asked Christian about the episode (he’s seen all of them)! Very funny! Thanks Heather!
My heart jumped and I had to read it again. I’m sorry you are not pregnant.
Actual comment: How about, “Why I oughta!!!!”
i like this one!!! but it is usually reserved for christian! ha ha.
I read Harry Potter when I was pregnant sick and I had all the same food problems you did with the series. She makes food sound waaay too delicious.
I found your blog last week and read through some of the archives. I’ve been wanting to comment, but not sure what to say. I don’t want to be insensitive, seeing as I’m about to have a baby and that’s exactly what you’re struggling with. All I’ve come up with is that you’ve been in my thoughts and prayers, and I hope that you are able to find the peace you’re looking for. In my experience, peace is a process as opposed to a moment of clarity. It’s the continual search for help and reassurance by holding as close to the Lord as you can when things seems to be getting worse rather than better, despite your best efforts. Life is hard, but through the Savior we can find the strength to bear it and find joy, even at its worst.
Eliza you could never be insensitive! Thank you for such kind words. It truly has been a long road of process for me. Some days I see light and feel hope and other days I am down in the dumps! I’m trying hard to learn to be happy and okay “if not.”
Try not to melt in my home state! And good luck with your new little one coming! It’s crazy to see you all grown up!
Harry makes lots of hurts feel better. He provides a lovely escape.
You are always in my prayers. As you’ve written, grief is hard and it never really goes away. I pray that someone as generally joyous and infectious as you has peace and comfort. And joy. Always.
i need to use this more often….there have been many times this year where that wouldve made me feel so much better! so heres to all the times i missed out on saying what i really wanted to say: ‘ARRY POTTER!! v_v