i snuck away on my “lunch” break (it’s in quotes because my lunch break is usually at 7:30 a.m. and it’s more like a breakfast break) to go grocery shopping. it’s nice to go that early because you can actually park in the same county as where the wal-mart is located.
nancy and i were talking as i pulled into a space right next to the scariest Truck with a capital T… it was black and on tires that elevated it far up into the air. massive steer horns were strapped to the grille. the license plate read “DMAN INC.” the back of the Truck said “the undertaker” in an almost halloween-esque font. several obscene bumper stickers splattered the Truck along with many shout outs to the lone star state.
while staring at the monstrosity next door, i didn’t notice the couple approaching my driver’s side window… they were on the white trash side… (now for those of you whom i’ve offended, i am allowed to utilize the phrase white trash since i grew up in a trailer park with FLYING sewer roaches.) both wore raggedy cut off jean shorts and flip flops. the man was heavy set with a tank top and a long pony tail. the woman was a piece of work! stringy, greasy black hair. she had white make up (think mime) smeared all over face but it was splotchy and uneven… as if she were concerned about her make up “washing out” her features, she was wearing an orangy-red lipstick.
they came right up to my window and coral girl made the mime signal for me to roll down my window (apparently it’s a universal signal). i quickly remembered i was on the phone with nancy… pointed to my phone, and was relieved to see the strange couple stagger off….
as they walked away i noticed the pony-tail man was carrying a large black leather book. for whatever reason they were preaching the word to unassuming wal-mart shoppers… at least that’s what i guess they were doing, i didn’t stick around to find out. by the time i actually walked in the store nancy’s phone had died and i was “pretending” to be on the phone.