or anywhere else for that matter! remember the corny jokes and the lockers and the green goo?
well, there wasn’t a bucket of slime handy the other afternoon… but an imaginary bucket was surely dumped on one unsuspecting sister x.* she and her husband were delivering a graduation present for my little sister. they were surprised when i answered the door and quickly asked how “married life” was. normal, i said. apparently this was the wrong answer. concern rapidly spread across sister x’s face. i could see her thinking of an entirely different definition of normal. a definition where disaster and therapy and unhappiness loomed. so she gushed, “well are you still on the honeymoon??” not feeling in the mood to play this little game i told her i wasn’t really sure what that even meant. (besides, the people who frequently use that phrase aren’t necessarily my contemporaries.)
obviously my two responses rendered her into a state of shock. she charged, spouting advice as she went. “keep the romance alive” “go on dates” “don’t forget the intimacy” “serve each other” why she thought that all of the above wasn’t happening is beyond me. she persisted. then she asked how old i was. i feel like i am eternally etched in everyone’s mind as a 16 year old or a freshman in college.
i am 29. “well don’t wait to have children.”
children!? i just barely got a husband five months ago, quit my job, moved across the country, experienced un-employment and now i’m the “provider” while my househusband studies for a three day exam at the end of july with no job lined up just yet… at times it feels like treading water. excuse me if i strain to keep my head above water and breathe a little before i decide to create a tiny, dependent.
don’t wait, don’t wait, don’t wait.
“we’ll see” i said dryly. this, she took as an invitation to explain how hard pregnancy and childbirth are in your 30s. i stood my ground. we’ll see. besides, since when is that someone else’s business other than your spouse? my parents have never pressured me regarding children. they never pressured me regarding marriage.
if anyone put the pressure on it was my little sisters… but then little sisters can get away with those kinds of comments… without the green goo consequences.
*when addressing other members of the lds church we commonly use the title of brother or sister respectively, along with the individual’s last name. even though i am technically an adult, i still can’t bring myself to call other adults (especially ones i knew growing up) by their first names!