mormonism 101.

after years of fending off the mis-information my friends received regarding me as a mormon i thought i had weathered it all! no we* don’t have horns. yes we wear special underwear. no it isn’t made out of burlap. yes the underwear can be removed. no we don’t own coca-cola or pepsi corporations. no we don’t drink alcohol, not even wine. no i don’t know how to make coffee. yes i drink pop. no we don’t have multiple mothers married to the same father. yes we can wear bathing suits. no we don’t eat jell-o daily. no we aren’t required to have trampolines. yes we can dance. no we are not a cult. yes we are christians.

i became the go-to mormon for several friends. no matter where they were in the country, they were quick to call me with their inquiries and then i’d hear them setting their friends straight in the background. sometimes it can be quite comedic… like when my boss demands to know how many points i could potentially receive for baptizing him, a jew. (no, we don’t get points).

but lately there has been more of an entertainment push to incorporate mormons into television programming and movies. one of my all time favorites is Ocean’s 11. you can’t beat the hilarious brothers from provo!

then this season, house had a potential job candidate who was a very non-typical mormon when people think of blonde, blue eyed girls from utah. he was a black single father. while some people were up in arms about his character on the show, i loved that house called him big love.

so last night while watching an episode of law & order: special victims unit i was shocked to find out some really vital information regarding people of my faith:

“everyone knows mormons make the best nannies. they come from big families, they don’t drink or smoke… and they speak english.”

and as the story unfolds… they apparently move to big cities to work as nannies while their boyfriends are on missions. they get lonely and start chatting with creepy men on line. they start wearing short/slutty skirts. they then hook-up with the creepy men. and eventually they become the victim the special victim’s unit is investigating…

prime time doesn’t get much better than that!! honestly. all young mormon women within sight of my blog… please do not fall to the evil trap of nannying! it will only lead to short skirts and your eventual homicide!

*for all purposes here “we” is referring to the global “we” of all mormons.

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6 thoughts on “mormonism 101.

  1. >I’ll have to remember your advice. The other night in the middle of my class one of my students suddenly started asking me a bunch of questions about Mormons. It was a little weird since we were in the middle of a lesson. We were talking about food vocabulary, so the fact that I don’t drink coffee, tea or beer was a little weird.

  2. >Wow. Look what having an LDS Presidential candidate can do. Make us the go-to religious minority in tv. Although I really was quite sad to see Big Love go on House. I liked his story. Is it wrong that the majority of House’s wise cracks made me laugh?

  3. >ha ha! good thing i nannied in italy…when i waitressed at baby’s (a 50s diner in state college) a fellow waiter called me “michal michal mormoncycle” and all the cooks shouted “hey, mormon, your food’s up” when my meals were ready to deliver. i kind of miss that kind of loving attention

  4. >LOL, Brannon and I got sucked into that episode after hearing the word mormon. Did you know that a few of the dancing w/ the stars professionals are lds? Not morlore, for reals. 🙂

  5. >Hey, now! Historical check!In the 80’s it became especially big for mormon girls (who weren’t college material or as a way to earn $ for the same) to go-a-nannying on the East Coast. It really was a sort of phenon; I think it might have even made Life or People magazine. I remember it made the papers here in Phoenix for sure. And I remember a Phil Donahue show or one of those early talk shows that discussed how one demographic should prove so popular in the hiring pool.It definitely was a trend that mushroomed by word-of-mouth for exactly the reasons currently stated – adding that these girls came from large families and had a lot of sibling experience already. As for the mormon nanny going tarty; that probably happened to some of those who were away from home for the first time. And as like everything else a mormon does contrary to their creedo; it is amplified more than it deserves.

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