being blonde, while having its perks*, also has a few downfalls.** but the mother of all downfalls would have to be my albino eye lashes and eye brows. i don’t think people truly appreciate how wonderful defined and colored eye lashes/eye brows can be! just pick up a magazine. anybody who’s anybody has great eye brows and amazing lashes. yes maybe they are modernly altered. let’s forget about that… let’s focus on the fact that blonde girls greatly lack in the amazing eye-hair department.
while in high school my mom would pester me constantly to not only wear more form fitting clothing, but to wear make-up. note, she wasn’t encouraging me to just wear bolder/darker make-up… but make-up in general! for some reason my 14 year old self was embarrassed to. in hindsight, i should have listened. i remember my hesitation to don face paint. it was the era of long hair, no bangs and no make-up. the majority of my friends were brunettes. the majority of my friends weren’t wearing make-up. the majority of my friends looked amazing without it. the sad reality was that i for one could have had so many more high school romances (or a high school romance) if i had just listened to my mother and worn the mascara!!!
blondes tend to look sickly and washed out without eye-liner, mascara and eye-brow pencil. the days i don’t wear make-up, people rush to my side, frantically inquiring as to my health. “are you feeling well?” “did you not get enough sleep?” “has it been a bad day?” well now i’m feeling pretty crappy about this day because apparently my non-make-up self exudes sympathy (or in some cases terror) from those around me!
three summers ago my little sister came to visit me in dc for her 16th birthday. part of the visit included a trip to the lake. on the way we picked up a friend named christian. it was early, we were covered in sun-block with the hopes of soon being drenched in water. i opted to not put make-up on that morning. asia didn’t seem to mind until christian got in the car.
“that’s christian?! he is so cute!!!” and then in horror she added, “you don’t have make-up on!!! put your make-up on!!!”
before we could head to lake anna asia acted as my cosmopolitan task-masker. she apologized repeatedly to christian for my thoughtlessness and reminded him that i really was “hot.” she then pestered him the rest of the day about the following topics:
-do you have a girl friend? well why don’t you date my sister.
-you know, she is really bad at flirting so you need to ask her out.
-i think you two are in love, why aren’t you dating.
maybe the mascara did the trick!
today i put my make-up on once i got to work. i was in the bathroom and about to finish my face when i realized that my mascara was no where to be found. i couldn’t even bring myself to look at my clownish face sans lashes. at that moment in walked the vp, who, thankfully is a blonde. she saved the day, literally.
*honks, hooting, whistles, marriage proposals, drunken professions of love, invitations to peter piper pizza, san diego & mexico (all in one night), sitting at the ‘blonde’ lunch table in high school…
**blistering sunburns, SPF45 sunblock, being accused of “lacking pigment” or “glowing in the dark”, having very obvious tan lines…