let’s just get this over with. i’m not going to sugar coat it. i hate cats.
hate you say? well considering i strongly dislike most other animals, i think i do in fact hate cats. don’t worry, i don’t go out of my way to bother cats – i just prefer if i didn’t have to deal with them. their purring, their hair balls, their smells, their rubbing, their claws. suffice it to say, i have steered pretty clear of cats. this probably all stems from the fact that my dad was allergic – and if we had even looked at a cat – we’d be hosed down before entering the house.
in high school one of my spanish teachers, we’ll call her señora campbell, had mucho amor for her gatos. yes, gatos plural. she had cat jewelry and sweaters and decorated our classroom with photographic proof of her pets. (i think she just may have been a candidate for that new show animal hoarders – ¡estoy jugando!) but really, señora campbell was a good teacher. she gave us spanish names, she could whip out an emphatic “¡oh sí!” like no other, she made sure we only used spanish in class and introduced me to shakira and let us listen to the gipsy kings during study time. that was muy bueno. she also made sure we all passed our spanish i.b. exams. (i guess i owe señora campbell a big gracias.)
apparently the doctors i frequent know about my cat hate. is it possible for your high school spanish teacher to be in cahoots with your doctors? specifically your gynecologist? stick with me here… what is the likelihood that as i lay back and am told to “scooch” down that directly above me, taped to the ceiling would be a poster with fluffy cats staring down at me? not once. but twice. at two different offices. in two different states. four years apart.
it really is kind of hilarious. (not this hilarious) i mean, what doctor looks at a kitty poster and thinks, “that’s it! that’s the poster that will help my patients relax!” or “this will be perfect above the examination table!”
this morning i wasn’t relaxed, i felt more like the cats had it out for me… similar to the way dogs always smell my fear – i think these cats know a cat-hater when they see one – even if they are just one dimensional poster cats.