so far.

this was right about when i decided i should be less grouchy about hiking and christian excitedly asked if we could go hiking more often and before i burst into tears when we heard a mama bear and her cub had been spotted.

i remember really looking forward to college. high school life and homework was hard. lots of times i was lonely. i thought byu would be a magical place solving all of my problems. not the least of which was my dating problem. as in, i did not date in high school.

quickly i realized college wasn’t disneyland with my 7am spanish class, biking to work at the mtc dish-room between classes, snow, and my not-so-great dating record freshman year.

the following years i adapted with my steady blind date toll rising. but really, i was holding out until i was 21. i always wanted to serve a mission. and in my excitement, i looked forward to the idea of life getting better after my mission.

before i left i was at a church activity in arizona. i had just gotten my mission call, but wouldn’t be leaving for two more months. some older women at church accosted me and asked why on earth i was going. with all the concern of a grandparent, they tried to make me understand that there would be no boys left to date when i got home, let alone marry. other women swooped in to confidently promise boys would be lining up for me when i returned. i left with these polar opposite send-offs.

i came home and headed back to school for three more semesters. it appeared, both endorsements proved incorrect. there were plenty of boys around, but unfortunately, no line outside my door. which was fine since i was neck-deep with broadcasting classes, my on-campus job and my other job. well mostly it was fine because i was scared to death of boys.

after more and more group-blind dates (aren’t you jealous?) where i was the oldest person on the date at 24, i began to plan for my “provo exit strategy.” the day after graduation i left on a plane for washington dc. i fell in love. figuratively and literally, but the literally wouldn’t happen for four more years.

do you see a pattern? despite all of that, my forward-looking, thinking, planning continues. i wish it would subside. i’m learning it will take more than wishing it away. it will take some vigilant work.

on sunday one of my sunday school kids gave the prayer:

“…we’re thankful for having fun at church (long pause) so far…” he said.

i loved it! not only was it hilarious – the first two hours were okay, but he wasn’t quite sure how the last hour would shake out – it was so positive! he was having a good time so far. he was happy, so far. it doesn’t matter what happens tonight, tomorrow, or in the years to come. so far, he is enjoying it.

“stop seeking out the storms, and enjoy more fully the sunshine.”
gordon b. kinckley


One thought on “so far.

  1. More and more I realize that everything in life is to teach me patience. Sigh…why is that so hard? However, I’m eternally grateful that you held out and served a mission.

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