yesterday i went to the dentist. well, he wasn’t there but i still sat in the dentist chair, wore the bib and glasses and was sick to my stomach. jackie is super nice and after three years she knows how stressed i get with the dentist. even if it is just a cleaning. she uses different instruments to help me not hear the scraping. she pauses for frequent breaks and reminds me to take deep breaths. she chimes in and lets me know when we get to the home stretch and constantly tells me what a good job i’m doing. it sounds ridiculous, but it is what i need. i almost enjoyed choosing my cinnamon flavored polish.
a few weeks ago i made an appointment for a hearing test. it’s common knowledge i don’t hear well. i come from a long line of people who don’t hear well or who are down right nearly deaf. lately, i’ve noticed more and more just how much i’m not hearing. christian will test me.
“do you hear the rain outside?” no.
“do you hear that beeping sound?” no.
“do you hear the timer going off?” no.
despite these tests, i thought i should get a real one. one time i was in costco and worked up enough courage to walk over to the hearing section. when i saw all the elderly people in line and the big sign for hearing aids i quickly turned to inspect costco’s wide array of vitamins. christian was surprised then, that i actually made an appointment with a real doctor. “you know they’re just going to tell you you need hearing aids.” but my ears are constantly ringing, or fuzzy white sound-ish and i was getting tired of always saying what, and never quite catching what someone says the first time.
so i had a hearing test. i had those big headphones on and the little buzzer in my hand ready to click when i heard a noise. i knew i was in trouble the longer time went by and i didn’t click the button. the office was busy that day and all the consultation rooms were full. they ushered me in to a different patient room with a chair eerily similar to a dental chair. my heart started to race. the doctor entered and began to explain my results as i sat awkwardly reclined.
turns out i have hereditary hearing loss. it will continue to decline to a certain point but i will not go entirely deaf. i have some diminished hearing with the low frequencies, however it is the high frequencies that i have more noticeable loss. interestingly enough, consonants are usually spoken at a high frequency – so that explains why i won’t tune in to what someone is saying until the latter half of the sentence, leaving me grasping to decipher what they started with.
after the doctor showed me the charts and explained that my loss was minimal he then said i was an excellent candidate for hearing aids.
despite christian’s warning, this took me by surprise. i don’t think i’ve ever been an excellent candidate for anything and then my moment of excellence comes with a pair of hearing aids. it made me laugh. he explained that hearing aids get a bad rap. they should be viewed more like glasses – you don’t wait until you are blind to get an eyeglass prescription. he enthusiastically repeated how much of an excellent candidate i was since hearing aids would bring my hearing up to 100%.
i think i’ll keep thinking about this excellent proposition since the cost of hearing aids is pretty excellent. maybe i’ll focus my efforts in a different direction, such as excellent fashion. like this time i excellently paired capris with boots. now this outfit was pretty excellent. so much so christian wanted to document how dorkily excellent i looked.