and when the night is cloudy there is still a light that shines on me.

running on the trail this morning with my friend we spoke of illness and suffering. we spoke of loss and death. we spoke of our knowledge of eternity and despite that understanding, the very tangible reality of grief.

several years ago while serving as young women president, one of my new beehives tragically lost one of her twin brothers. the death was so sudden. it stunned everyone. the chapel was packed to overflowing for ezra’s funeral. that service was an amazing celebration of life. his 5th grade music class sang with joyful hearts that filled the building. i left that day uplifted.

death is an inevitable part of this life and yet, it always comes as an unexpected punch that takes our breath away.

last fall our friends lost their beautiful little madi. i ached for their loss even though i had never met her. the year before my cousin lost her 11-year old daughter allison. i remember exactly where i was that night, and the numbness followed by the devastating sadness. in both cases, as with others, i have felt so helpless, only able to offer up prayers on behalf of those grieving.

it seems like such a small offering. insignificant really. but i have been on the receiving end of much prayer. i know what power comes from dozens of people united on your behalf.

just this week i spoke with a friend in florida going through her own set of trials. after apologizing that i couldn’t do more, she acknowledged how meaningful all of her friends’ prayers are.

and so i still pray for those grieving, because i don’t think grief  ever goes all the way away. maybe it dissipates a bit. but it is there. even when life marches on, even when everyone around you may move on and expect the same from you; there the grief waits. to remind you of what might have been.

tonight my heart is breaking for my former co-worker who lost her youngest daughter. i am overwhelmed by her passing. tonight i pray that there can be some comfort that breaks through their terrible clouds.

———
let it be, “across the universe” film version

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One thought on “and when the night is cloudy there is still a light that shines on me.

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